it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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