No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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