She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
