Will you blow on my dice?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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