Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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