im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
