Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize