Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
how drunk are you?
Several
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
