And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
