I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
