that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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