I wannas sexs uuuuu
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
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