a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
