I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
