So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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