i just had sex bonerless
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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