So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
