exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
