Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
