I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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