Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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