What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
