i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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