we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
