Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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