I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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