Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
