It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize