boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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