me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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