Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.

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  (925): just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win. http://tfl.nu/n1uf
  Replies (14) Good night (2528) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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  (937): I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/skfa
  Replies (8) Good night (3736) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

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  (781): I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer... http://tfl.nu/rcmz
  Replies (22) Good night (2762) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair

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  (630): the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair http://tfl.nu/rgwc
  Replies (17) Good night (1026) Bad night (4377) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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  (314): I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you http://tfl.nu/08lz
  Replies (3) Good night (3715) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.

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  (913): you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro. http://tfl.nu/rmdo
  Replies (5) Good night (4470) Bad night (671)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.

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  (812): Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand. http://tfl.nu/f9hd
  Replies (8) Good night (567) Bad night (3275)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?

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  (314): I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go? http://tfl.nu/u68l
  Replies (1) Good night (1545) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...

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  (803): Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday... http://tfl.nu/4ejd
  Replies (8) Good night (1359) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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  (360): She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit http://tfl.nu/vja9
  Replies (12) Good night (617) Bad night (2571) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head

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  (616): At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head http://tfl.nu/if7o
  Replies (4) Good night (1466) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.

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  (573): Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing. http://tfl.nu/j85g
  Replies (8) Good night (832) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

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  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2085) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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  (910): Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome! (1-910): No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?! http://tfl.nu/r3ev
  Replies (16) Good night (1389) Bad night (670)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.

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  (720): Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage. http://tfl.nu/0rvw
  Replies (1) Good night (170) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt

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