i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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