South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.