Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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  (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5161) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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  (440): It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm. http://tfl.nu/s4sh
  Replies (9) Good night (2947) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That burning is chlamydia

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  (612): One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence (202): That burning is chlamydia http://tfl.nu/w9ru
  Replies (9) Good night (1071) Bad night (3916)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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  (248): Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching." http://tfl.nu/eoit
  Replies (59) Good night (1121) Bad night (3322)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?

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  (647): Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public? http://tfl.nu/9yr1
  Replies (33) Good night (1723) Bad night (4751)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today

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  (618): I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today http://tfl.nu/z5b2
  Replies (4) Good night (2260) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.

  (831): View more from California

  You did a keg stand on the toilet?!

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  (408): Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying. (831): You did a keg stand on the toilet?! http://tfl.nu/1e43
  Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

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  (336): Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth http://tfl.nu/r0sd
  Replies (8) Good night (1664) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.

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  (423): I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick. http://tfl.nu/4wtf
  Replies (7) Good night (703) Bad night (1400)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.

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  (516): Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out. http://tfl.nu/276h
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.

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  (208): That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality. http://tfl.nu/t1cp
  Replies (9) Good night (1148) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".

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  (707): The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny". http://tfl.nu/ox7j
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He stood me up.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.

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  (724): He stood me up. (724): I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone. http://tfl.nu/xslj
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.

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  (507): I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool (1-507): In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking. http://tfl.nu/611z
  Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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  (724): At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped. http://tfl.nu/hng6
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (459)

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