just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
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Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we're so committed to being not committed