Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.

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  (214): I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/aut7
  Replies (15) Good night (915) Bad night (3321)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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  (212): I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet. http://tfl.nu/8wa0
  Replies (8) Good night (4050) Bad night (527)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...

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  (217): I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs... http://tfl.nu/dm06
  Replies (53) Good night (4351) Bad night (764)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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  (407): Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go. http://tfl.nu/d64s
  Replies (10) Good night (4226) Bad night (903)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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  (251): I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost http://tfl.nu/fd0l
  Replies (5) Good night (3761) Bad night (949)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You could give me a blowjob later? :)

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I meant do something romantic..

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Blowjob In the moonlight?

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  (321): You could give me a blowjob later? :) (1-321): I meant do something romantic.. (321): Blowjob In the moonlight? http://tfl.nu/na1u
  Replies (13) Good night (6226) Bad night (1410)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.

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  (505): There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm. http://tfl.nu/k80u
  Replies (5) Good night (3266) Bad night (924)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo

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  (757): broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo http://tfl.nu/o3pc
  Replies (11) Good night (2099) Bad night (951)
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  (831): View more from California

  After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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  (831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d
  Replies (4) Good night (2670) Bad night (549)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank

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  (775): Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers. (1-775): Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank http://tfl.nu/28ka
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (468)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now

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  (260): She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now http://tfl.nu/3rta
  Replies (5) Good night (1491) Bad night (753)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.

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  (406): There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing. http://tfl.nu/ymyj
  Replies (0) Good night (688) Bad night (282)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....

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  (843): Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom..... http://tfl.nu/jt5r
  Replies (3) Good night (468) Bad night (305)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...

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  (561): Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city... http://tfl.nu/enzu
  Replies (5) Good night (314) Bad night (563)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!

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  (912): Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles. (404): STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!! http://tfl.nu/hvx1
  Replies (18) Good night (3230) Bad night (572)

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