Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.

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(513): View more from Ohio

i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world

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(404): View more from Georgia

my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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(804): View more from Virginia

she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

Someone shattered a urinal.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.

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(909): View more from California

I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.

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