you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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