Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why can't burritos get me drunk
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
