meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
