dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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