we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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