we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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