I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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