The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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