I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We are two peas in an std pod
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
