Will you blow on my dice?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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