I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
