So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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