need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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