You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
