put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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