I must be too annoying 4 u.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
