I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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