I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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