i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
