this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
