I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Your cock deserves a montage
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
