You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
