1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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