Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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