she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
