Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
