how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
