There is no way he is gay with that hair.
birth control should be required to get into college
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
