I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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