I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently the secret to your success is patron
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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