I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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