one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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