I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize